One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn\'t do.
The mother exclaimed, But that\'s terrible! I\'m going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn\'t do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
A man wanted to buy an went to the market,and saw a likely he wanted totest him he took the ass home,and put him into the stable with the other asses.
The new ass looked around,and immediately went to choose a place next to the laziest ass in the the man saw this he put a halter on the ass at once,and gave him back to his owner felt quite asked the man,^v^Why are you back so soon?Have you tested him already?^v^ ^v^I don\'t want to test him any more,^v^ replied the man,^v^From the companion he chose for himself,I could see what sort of animal he is.^v^
A shop owner closed his shop and went home. He was very tired but just as he went to bed, the telephone rang. A man asked, ^v^What time do you open your shop?^v^
The owner was angry about this phone call. He put down the telephone without answering and went back to bed. A few minutes later, his telephone rang again and the man asked the same questions. The owner became very angry and he shouted, ^v^You needn\'t ask me when I open the shop for I won\'t let you in.^v^
^v^Oh, no, I don\'t want to get in,^v^ the man said, ^v^I want to go out now . ^v^
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely,^v^Woof,woof,woof!^v^ The cat was so terrified that it ran for it\'s life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,^v^Now,do you understand the value of a second language?^v^
An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on the 30th floor of a building.
The Irishman opened his lunch box and said, ^v^Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I\'m going to jump off this building.^v^
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, ^v^burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I\'m going to jump off, too.^v^
The blonde opened his lunch and said, ^v^Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I\'m jumping too.^v^
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch b box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too, the blonde opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, the Irishman\'s wife is weeping, she says, ^v^if I\'d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!^v^ the Mexican\'s wife also weeps and says, ^v^I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn\'t realize he hated burritos so much.^v^ Everyone turned and stared at the blonde\'s wife. ^v^Hey, don\'t look at me,^v^ She said. ^v^He made his own lunch.^v^
Long ago, there was a big cat in the house. He caught many mice while they were stealing food. 從前，一所房子里面有一只大貓，他抓住了很多偷東西的老鼠。
One day the mice had a meeting to talk about the way to deal with their common enemy. Some said this, and some said that.
At last a young mouse got up, and said that he had a good idea.
^v^We could tie a bell around the neck of the cat. Then when he comes near, we can hear the sound of the bell, and run away.^v^
“我們可以在貓的脖子上綁一個鈴鐺，那么如果他來到附近，我們聽到鈴聲就可以馬上逃跑?！?Everyone approved of this proposal, but an old wise mouse got up and said, ^v^That is all very well, but who will tie the bell to the cat?^v^ The mice looked at each other, but nobody spoke.
Mr. Li is a good painter. One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes.
Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes. It isn’t a good picture.”
But Mr. Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.”
Mr. Zhou shakes head and says, “You are boasting. I don’t believe you.”
Mr. Li isn’t angry. He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. Woe! The dragon really flies.
One day, a poor man is taking a bag of rice to a town. The rice is on the back of his horse but it falls down. The rice is too heavy to lift and he doesn’t know what to do. He only hopes someone can give him some help.
二天，After a while, a man riding a horse comes. But he is a rich man living nearby. The poor man hopes another farmer will come. But the rich man sees him and says to him, “You need my help, right?” And he helps the poor man lift the rice onto the horse’s back.
三天，過了一會兒，一個人騎著馬走過來。但是他是住在附近的一個富人。窮人希望另一個農民過來。但是富人看到了他并對他說，“你需要幫助，對嗎?”他幫窮人把米抬到馬背上。 “Sir, how can I repay you?” the poor man says.
“It’s easy, when you see anyone else in trouble, do the same for him.”
On the third day after he was born, Little Elephant went with his mother to the banks of a stream, and there he saw a bird in the sky flying here and there. Little Elephant said: “If I could fly, I could see even more things, it would be great!”
In order to learn to fly, Little Elephant climbed a tree and, with a yelp of “Ai Yo!”, fell heavily to the ground.
Seeing this, the snake said: “Little elephant, we all have our own abilities. I can’t fly, but I can sleep in a tree.”
Lion said: “I also can’t fly, but I can jump across a wide river.”
Tiger said, “I can’t fly, but I can swim!”
Little Elephant’s father and mother said to him, “We elephants have great strength, incomparably greater than that little bird’s.”
Little Elephant understood. He used his long nose as a hook and moved a large branch.
One morning a fox sees a think,^v^This is my breakfast.
He comes up to the cock and says,^v^I know you can sing very you sing for me?The cock is closes his eyes and begins to sing.
he fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away. The people in the field see the fox.
They cry,^v^Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.\'The cock says to the fox,^v^Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock them it is theirs.大喊大叫：“看，看!狐貍抓住公雞逃走了?！?/p>
The fox opens his mouth ang says,^v^The cock is mine,not yours.\'Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
When they\'re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. ^v^All right, you two,^v^ I said sternly. ^v^No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.^v^
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, ^v^C\'mon, Steven, let\'s get dirty . ^v^
unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read ^v^thank you for not looking in the bathtub.^v^
At the police department, the phone rang. “Hallo, hallo!”
the policeman answered. “I’ve lost my cat!”
And the policeman said, “I’m sorry, sir,that’s not the job of the police. We’re too busy!”
The person said, “But you don’t understand. This is a ver intelligent cat! He’s almost human; he can practically talk!”
So the policeman said, “Then you’d better hang up.
He might be trying to call you!”